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Friday, June 14, 2013

A Beautiful Mess!

My life is a beautiful mess.  Yours is too I bet.  Things come up in life that we don't necessary plan for, like random occurrence of projectile vomit everywhere in the car by your toddler and having to make an unwanted but very much needed trip to Wal-Mart for a whole new set of clothes for the little tot.  Another example may be waking up to a sick pet or child unexpectedly in the middle of the night.  All of these have which happened to me fairly recently.  Life is fun.  Scary.  Unpredictable.  No two person's stories are the same.  Trials come and go to make us stronger.  Before we go through them and also during, we think how am I going to get through this?!  In the end, we are glad we got through whatever it may be safe and alive!

Being pregnant with a toddler is something that I am learning to cope with every day.  Hormones are all over the place, but yet I have a sweet little guy who depends on me to keep him alive.  No energy, no problem.  We have days, which I am not proud of, but we will just sit and watch Netflix or movies all day and cuddle.  Sometimes he will pull all of his toys out and there won't be any where to walk but it's ok because he is having a good time.  Of course I would not want anyone to show up unexpectedly because then I would be thinking that their impression of me as a SAHM is bad.  We are happy in our own little bubble just Mommy and Levi...until nap time.  The time of the day that I pray goes smoothly next to bed time of course.  And it's the time that he fights me the most.  I yell, I scream, and spank when needed for him to take a nap because he needs it and so do I.  That is definitely our weak spot right now.  Sometimes I wish he had an off button.  Not even kidding.  Super smart little boy but sometimes I just need my quiet time to think or just chill out without being bothered.  I don't think it's a bad thing to want quiet.  I love him so much, but sometimes I need the me time so I don't go bonkers on him!!  LOL.  Today he fought me so stinkin' hard to nap.  I yelled, I spanked, ignored him until he finally fell asleep.  So when he wakes up I will reward him and apologize to him but say how when I say it's quiet time he needs to listen..I sound like a broken record all day.  "Levi sit down. Be quiet. Get out of the dog's water!! Please come sit with me.  Nap-time.  Be quiet.  etc...."  For the mom's reading this I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about.  It's a mess raising a toddler. A beautiful mess!



Now let's talk about the "mommy war" as I have recently heard it called.  Some moms I know do mostly fresh or organic diet.  Me, I have the BIGGEST weakness for fast food.  It's fast and convenient.  Not necessarily healthy, but it will cure my hunger and Levi's right then and there :)  Another topic is breastfeeding vs. formula.  For me breast is best!  Some other people choose formula for whatever reason.  That's fine for them.  I prefer my own supply for many reasons.  Cloth or disposable.  Save the planet with cloth, but disposable are so much more convenient.  For this one, I'm half and half.  I tried cloth with Levi and loved it until he started breaking out and I couldn't figure out why until I looked it up and it was because my cloth diapers needed to be "stripped".  What in the world is that? And why is this important?  Now I know.  The ammonia and urine builds up even if you wash them regularly.  Oh now I get it!  So with this little boy growing inside me I will try and start over again.  I enjoyed it and now I plan to be better at it.  It's a mommy war out there with what is better for your child.  Moms judging other moms for their choices.  It's hard not to.  I have done it, but then I think well it's their child and if that's the way they want to raise them then let them as long as the child grows up big and strong, the choices made are not any of my business!!  My mommyhood has, is and is continuing to be a beautiful mess!!